Scotty Williams

Like the Mary Poppins song “A Spoonful of Sugar“, ownership is a medicine that needs help to go down. There are challenges that often make it hard to swallow, and benefits for those who choose to take it anyway.

The Medicine

After my last post titled, Who Holds The Keys?, some readers began to ask, “What keeps people from taking ownership?” So, I met with Karsten Risseeuw to discuss this question over a beer, and the answer we came up with was four big challenges.

I call these challenges the “medicine” of ownership, which sometimes has a bitter taste that makes it hard to swallow. Of course, more things could be added to the list, but these were the most common that we found in our respective fields.

1. FEAR – When faced with taking ownership most people are afraid, and worry about all the things that might go wrong. They are especially fearful of making mistakes or the potential ways that they might somehow mess things up. Though fear is normal, so are mistakes, and they are part and parcel of what it means to take ownership. In fact, mess ups are part and parcel of life itself, and the best response is accepting and learning what you can from them.
2. TIMING – Another challenge of ownership is when to start taking it, and many people get caught up in waiting for an “ideal” moment. This moment can be when they get a certain amount of resources (e.g., money) or, for the religious/spiritual, when God or the Universe gives a green light. Though waiting can be good and has its place, one can always do something to start taking ownership. It does not matter how small the step or effort might be. All that matters is that something gets done and the proverbial ball gets rolling.
3. RESPONSIBILITY – Being responsible is more than a question who is in charge and/or accountable. It is the full price that one must pay for something they desire. This price goes beyond what we like and enjoy doing, and includes what feels unnecessary and seems to slow us down. For example, when I launched my website and entered public theology, I simply wanted to speak what I believe to be true while engaging societal issues. Nevertheless, what I sought required tasks that seemed like roadblocks. There were boring tutorials for formatting, fruitless meetings for connections, and long coachings for certifications. Regardless of how I felt about them, these tasks were the price tags for ownership
4. OTHERS – We are not alone or the first when it comes to the things we desire. There are others who have pursued and obtained them long before we chose to. As a result, we start comparing where we are to the progress they have made, and we end up being intimidated and not progressing on the paths meant for us. Though comparison is normal the goal is not to be like others and arrive where they are. It is taking ownership and making progress on our own paths and in our own way.

Taking the Medicine

After finishing our beers, Karsten and I ordered another round. Then we talked about how one should take the medicine of ownership. Though it has a bitter taste it still must be administered, and the writer Esther Jacobs gives a good way to help it go down.

Jacobs is affectionately called the “No Excuses Lady”, and she states that ownership requires crossing out excuses. There are many reasons one can conjure to evade the difficulties. Yet, one can also conjure counter reasons to embrace and better engage them.

In my case, I wrote down every excuse that I could think of. Then l wrote down contrary statements that made them obsolete. I crossed out every reason that I could manufacture, and I got the help of others to aid me in the process.

I went to trusted friends and wise people who had what I wanted. An honest circle that gave hard truths to make me face the challenges. They also helped me to discern if what I expressed was a valid concern, or just another clever excuse to shirk the challenges of ownership.

The Sugar

Truly, one takes the medicine by crossing out excuses, and when this happens they will find a host of wonderful benefits. I call these benefits the “sugar” of ownership, and they help to curb its bitterness and bring joy in its challenges. They are:

1. CONFIDENCE – When you face your fears you will begin looking at yourself differently. You will see yourself as capable, and stop downplaying your gifts and abilities.
2. COURAGE – When you stop waiting for an ideal time you will become less skiddish. You will gain a boldness to welcome new things and be less hesitant with stepping out.
3. KNOWLEDGE – When you take responsibility you will learn new information and skills. Assets that will bring great growth as you actively apply them. You will also get a healthy self-trust as you do what needs to be done and complete important tasks regardless of how you feel about them.
4. WISDOM – When you stop comparing yourself to others you can learn from them. You can glean from their failures and successes, and better walk your own path. You can also get away from pointless competition, and see them as catalysts and co-laborers who encourage and inspire you.

Like the challenges other benefits can be added to the list, and the greatest benefit is exchanging bad values for good ones. Mark Manson defines good values as the things that really matter. Things that make our lives more peaceful and joyful as we walk the paths that are meant for us.

Since progressing down my path I have put away bad values. I have come to find a sweetness in life and work from what is most important. I hope that more people can know this sweetness as well. Yes, ownership is difficult, but the gains are definitely worth it!